We'll See

I noticed that I say that a lot - we'll see. I think it's my answer when I don't have anything else to say. Although, I kind of like that. It's instead of saying "I have no freaking clue what will happen" I can say it much nicer by saying we'll see.

It's been a long day. Today I thought a lot about my upcoming due date in May. Since we'll be traveling home that day, I figured it's going to give me some time to think about everything. Then I realized that my anxiety will probably be worse the week(s) before and right after. And Mother's Day is also something I'm thinking about. And dreading. Turns out my own mom will be out of town that weekend but we'll do the really nice brunch thing with my in-laws. I love it and the brunch is wonderful. But we had made plans for ME being a mom this year. I had even joked about wanting to have the baby in time to be out of the hospital so we could go to brunch too. It's sad to think about going again this year...without a baby. I'm afraid nobody will remember my due date or that I'm still kind of a mom on Mother's Day.

I guess we'll have to wait...and see.

On a non reproductive note, I've started going back to the gym. And it's kicking my ass! I'm doing 45 minutes of cardio each day, Mon-Thurs. Whew! My body is tired. But I have to say it does feel good! It's boring as hell on the machines for that long some days but it is good for me. I think it's good for my inner self too.