My TTC List of Crazy

It's official. I'm going crazy.

Today is cd32. Usually I have 32-34 day cycles. My temp dropped today but is still above the coverline. I'm not sure when I ovuated. We didn't bd nearly as much as I'd hoped. Yet I'm holding onto the tiniest thought that maybe - just maybe - I'm pregnant.

Of course, I'm sure I'm not. Why do I do this to myself? And, for the love of God, I just want AF to show up, to prove me wrong and to get going on the next month. Put me out of my misery already!

I was thinking of all the crazy things I've done - and still do - on my quest for a BFP...and a second shot a motherhood. Some are good, most are obsessive. Here's just a few:

*I have dug through my trash can to find a day old pee stick (OPK or HPT, either one!) to see if maybe that second line magically appeared hours after I tossed it.

*I have had open conversations about my cervical fluid with my husband.

*Our sex life is posted on the Internet.

*I've spent a small fortune on various pee sticks, doctor's visits and a fertility monitor.

*Dh askes me every morning how my temperature is (which is so adorable)

*I have a morning routine that, most days out of any given 34, requires I pee on at least one stick, sometimes two, first thing in the morning.

*I then rush to my computer, after the pee stick routine, to post it on the Internet.

*I'm a member of a somewhat elite group of women online who have gone through similar experiences also

*I've learned not to take any crap from nurses or doctors, and when they don't give you the right answer, keep asking.

and, my personal favorite today,

*I cannot talk myself out of taking a pregnancy test too early! Just can't do it!!

Feel free to add your own....