Broken Record

I'm starting to feel like a broken record. Every day, I get up to update my FF chart. And every day, I'm more confused than the day before. Today is the Icing on the Cake Day.

There are crosshairs - solid lines - and it says I o'd on cd26 and today is 14dpo. If this is true, then I'm not as "late" as I think I am and it also means there's no way I'm pregnant, since dh and I got discouraged and stopped bding after I thought I o'd.

Lesson of the day - Don't stop bding to soon.

I did change the methods of interpretation, just to see what they say. Advanced and Research both give me the solid lines. FAM says I have not ovulated this cycle. Back to square one - wondering what is going on.

I am going to call the doctor on Monday if still no AF, as I had planned. I'm going out of town Friday through Tuesday for work, but maybe they'll want to see me next week if my body doesn't show signs of AF soon. I'm trying to take it one day at a time, but cd40 sure is hard. And, as I mentioned yesterday, I'm afraid of what this means for my next cycles. Are they going to keep getting longer?? Please, please say no.

Sunday I am going to a baby shower. It's okay, it's for my friend who's really been there for me after I lost my baby. She has been the one pregnant person who didn't act like I'm contagious or that hanging around with me could make something bad happen to her too. I love that about her. I, in return, have helped get her through her pregnancy and it's been therapeutic for me. I did spend an hour in Motherhood Maternity over the weekend helping her pick out the baby shower outfit. I thought it would be hard but it wasn't. I actually picked out a few things that I'd like for the Fall/Winter, should I get to be the lucky pregnant one again soon.

The only thing I'm not looking forward too at the shower are the few people who knew I was pregnant - I'm really hoping it won't come up. A baby shower isn't the place to ask a formerly pregnant women what happened, you know? And in this family, another person had a stillborn around 38 weeks. That woman won't be there, she doesn't "believe" in baby showers, which I kind of understand. All in all, it should be painless but wish me luck.

I just want it to be my baby shower - and all of you girls to have one too, someday.