I lost my first baby (boy) during my 21st week of pregnancy on 12/24/04. My husband and I both found the courage to try again. I hate the "again" part. We were blessed with a daughter on 4/26/06 and she's the center of our world. Here's the story of my long and emotional journey from losing the first child I loved and raising the second child I love.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Everything Is Fine!

Yey! The doctor's visit went well. I got another surprise in-office ultrasound. The heartbeat was flickering away. It was so nice! I also asked for Doppler to hear the heartbeat, but the doctor didn't seem too interested. Oh well, as long as I got to make sure the heart was beating, I'm happy.

Otherwise, things went good. I've lost another pound, which makes two total since I became pregnant. I'm sure when I'm not throwing up every two minutes, I won't have a problem putting the weight on. The nurse said next visit I should have gained weight.

Speaking of, only 28 more days until my next appointment.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Waiting for Tomorrow

The last week has been a little crazy. My sickness has now gotten a new pattern - I feel great for 2 or 3 days...then like hell for 2 or 3 days. When I'm good, I'm feeling great and boy, the sick is still really sick. I'm really hoping this is the end of it since I'm almost to that point where it should be stopping..hopefully.

Today I am 11 weeks, 2 days pregnant.

Oddly, it's the same exact day when I began the first spotting in my last pregnancy.

I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow. Thank GOD. I am nervous and afraid but I'm trying to get through today so tomorrow can finally get here. I just want to know how things are going and if I'm progressing along as I should be. It's nerve-wracking, to say the least.

Other than trying to feel better, at this point, I'm just trying to plug away at the weeks with this pregnancy. I want to be out of the first trimester. I really want to be 24+ weeks but at this point, anything over 12 weeks is looking pretty good. Baby steps, right?

Most of all, I just want to hear the heartbeat tomorrow.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Welcome to the World of Crazy

I feel so unlike myself. I've felt this way for the past few weeks, ugh. Between being sick, being tired and just not feeling well from the pregnancy, my time is spent lying on the couch or lying in bed. I don't like but I'm hoping for it to pass soon.

I am 10 weeks, 2 days today. Finally in the double-digit week marks, which was my first goal. One down, a hundred more goals to go.

My next appt is in 8 days, which seems like forever. It's really, really long in between appointments - 4 weeks! I'm starting to have anxiety about the appt, that I'll get there and something will be wrong. Of course, I'm trying to talk myself of out those thoughts really quick.

As far as symptoms go, my new unfavorable is my dog-like sense of smell. It's bad. Everything stinks to me - my house, my carpets, my dog, dinner, the car...even my shoes. Ugh. And the funny part is that the air freshener smell makes me throw up every time, so I had to take all of my Plug-Ins down. It's the worst of the two evils!

But on a good note, I am totally thrilled that I have not yet spotted with this pregnancy. Thank God. That's my biggest fear right now and this time in my last pregnancy, I already had. Whew. My tummy is starting to pouf out more, which is also amusing. My mother swears I look pregnant, but my jeans are still falling off my waist so I think she's wishful thinking. It's okay, I'll let her.

Come on week 11.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

100th

It's my 100th post! And who knew it would be about puking!!

I have had no time to update lately because every free second I have is spent trying not to throw up. I am nauseated all the time and I hate that feeling. I'm trying not to bitch, but it's miserable! Yesterday I had a somewhat more normal day and it was so nice. I'm really hoping there are more normal days and less nausea days very soon.

We went away for the weekend with my family, which was really fun. I got to rest and that was the best part! We did the typical Labor Day weekend family stuff - board games, a fair and a parade. It was great.

My stomach is making it's big pouf-out even more already. It's actually funny to me, since I look like I've put on weight but only around my belly button!

The hardest thing for me with being so sick is that I'm afraid something's wrong with the baby. I'm afraid that throwing up so hard will hurt the baby somehow - even though I'm sure that's not possible. I was really sick with my last pregnancy and now I'm sick again...I guess I'm just one of those people who have a hard time being pregnant. It's hard not to over think it, but otherwise I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Just waiting (im)patiently for my next appt to hear the heartbeat.